


Ronald The Cowboy Cactus

by Stegosaurus104



Category: it is all a joke, my own fandom, none of this is real - Fandom
Genre: Matthew is the main character, Other, Ronald is not a human, THIS IS ALL A JOKE FOR MY FRIENDS! DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stegosaurus104/pseuds/Stegosaurus104
Summary: This is all a joke, and you should never take this as a serious thing. It is a "fanfiction" about a guy and a potted cactus. It is more a story, it isn't based off of anything that is real. Just read it, then question what your life is after.





	1. Chapter 1

Matthew has short blond hair, its curly but it isn't long enough to curl a lot. He has blue eyes last time I checked. Matthew likes wearing sweatshirts. Matthew has problems and hits on every girl that starts messaging him, its actually hard to deal with. I do not consider him my friend. Matthew has caused so much drama, I actually can't take him seriously. Some people ask why many hate him, but they haven't known him long enough. Matthew has tried to get with everyone in the friend group he is half in. He is still stuck on one of the girls who will not go for him. Matthew in this story is going to be 20 and in college. He lives on his own in an apartment, and isn't very clean. Lots of dishes and laundry everywhere. Too bad. There is only one thing he cares about in that apartment. Well, two things. His videogame stuff and Ronald. Man does Matthew love his Ronald.

Well now we get to explaining Ronald. Ronald is a potted cactus, he looks like a man standing up and has a crease in the shape of a mouth. It's a miracle. Matthew got a small cowboy hat for his cactus. Ronald can't talk, but Matthew sure does think he can. Matthew uses Ronald, for... _other purposes._ Some days Ronald is wet and has to be cleaned off so he doesn't die. Ronald doesn't have very many spikes on him, from being handled so much.

Now let us talk about Ronald's hat.


	2. Ronald's Hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hat

Ronal's hat is a cowboy hat, it is at least the stereotypical version of a cowboy hat. The edges of the hat are a little worn. The edges were a little darker in color, and frayed outward a little. The strands that kept the hat together were a little spread apart from being worn. The color of the hat is amazing, it is a light tan, part beige color. The color of the cowboy hat is like the skin of a white person. The tan of them matches the shade of the hat. It is darker than white, more of a light tan like a tumbleweed. The tan is not a dark tan, no, the hat is only dark when shadows are cast over it. That is a completely different color, that color is a blackish brown. The brown is more the color if you mixed gray with brown. The color if the sand at night, the color of trees stumps at night. It has a cool, dull color to it. One of the most relaxing colors I would say. Back on track about the tan color, it is sand in the day time, it is the color of yellow Christmas lights. The tan is not close to white but not dark enough, its a middle-ish-kinda area. The edges of this hat have been worn form the winds of many different places it has travelled, adventures soon to be revealed. The hat has a logo on it, the small imprint to show what place made it. This hat was a one of a kind, especially since it was for a cactus, not many people needed a cowboy hat for a cactus. So they had to use a small amount of tan material for it. The tan was picked out of the scrap pile, so this tan was a bit different compared to the other hats made by this same company. The hat was a little to big for the top of the cactus, it covered his eyes and left his slight smirk to be seen under the rim. Eventually the hat had made it to Ronald and he doesn't go anywhere else without it on. At least he can't go anywhere without being carried, oh well. Now take this image of this hat, and the exact color you have of it, think, think, ok, now it shouldn't be too light, it should be a medium like the sand you find in patches of grass but more light brown then blackish. Take that image and lighten the color just a little bit, that is the color of his hat. Its that exact color, now as this story progresses the hat will vary slightly, but stay the same tan color, don't forget that.

 

Matthew got this hat for Ronald.  
It was the best hat ever.  
Ronald was Matthew's most important possession.  
For other reason besides a house plant, we will get to that later.  
Matthew made sure to water him when needed and made sure he was healthy ad strong.  
Made sure that there was enough sunlight and room.  
Sometimes Matthew would keep Ronald with him while he slept, setting Ronald on his bedside table, to wake up to in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hat


End file.
